WHY CHOOSE HIM AS A PARTNER? FIND THE CHEMISTRY!

What are those qualities there are you should look out for in a man or woman to make you want to commit to her as a  partner in a relationship? A man you would like, respect and trust. Could him have great sex skills, handsome? He has a great sense of humor and very intelligent? Is it  wealth and influence? All these matter,  yet you may not be in love with your partner.
Amasa Odeh confirmed it thus “All of those factors  are extremely important to an extent, but I must be physically attracted to him”. And she continued “I have seen partners with all those qualities yet that was not enough to maintain their marriages. I bet those who harp on those qualities only are on the wrong pedestral”.

You need to choose someone with whom you have similar interests, but perhaps just enough differences to keep it interesting. You need to choose someone with whom you can have a meaningful conversation, with whom you can laugh, and cry. Someone you respect, who also respects you, and someone you genuinely just enjoy being around. But you also need to be physically attracted to them.

This is a very painful realization for most women. Which make them hesitate psychologically when their husbands try to initiate sex with them. They would delay and make frantic efforts to kill the coital advance and most times they argue why they had fallen in love with “such” a man. The end result of such maneuvers, they call it quit. Divorced! To such the marriage is not working.  This could be avoided if one chooses her partner based on the shared chemistry.
Chemistry is a weird and wonderful thing. You either have it, or you don’t. You cannot fabricate it or imitate it. And as much as you  desperately might  crave to be in love with your husband, you  cannot make yourself to be in love, if you make the wrong move at the onset.
Different strokes for different folks!  To everyone, different qualities or factors work for each one of us. Find your rhythym. Go with your gut. And listen to that small but persistent inner voice. When you get it, you will know it.

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If you must Be Married, Stay True!

I copied this touching narration from Facebook. Happy reading! Marriage requires preparation and planning which requires you to factor in your career, job, family, friends, business, etc. Marriage, it is  a complex entanglement which could be deadly if you are not able to wrangle your way through its web of maze. Think it through before you go in.

THE DANGERS OF ALLOWING YOUR SPOUSE LIVE ABROAD OR IN A DIFFERENT CITY FROM YOUR RESIDENCE

When I was appointed the managing director of the Orient Bank of Uganda in 2013, I couldn’t wait to return home to break the news to my wife.

The appointment I reckoned would improve my earnings, career and was in line with my set objectives.

“That means that I’m resigning right away”, was my wife’s instant response to my announcement of the appointment.

She was not yet done. “The children will also go with us. I shall make enquires about good schools in Uganda to ensure that our children don’t lose a session”.

For my wife, she would not sacrifice her marital harmony for economic benefits or career. She was a branch manager of a topmost bank in Nigeria.

I was shocked.

I pleaded, “please give me some time to go to Uganda, settle down, familiarize with the new country, say for one year and I shall come for you and the kids”.

I was talking to a statue. She wouldn’t take that.

My wife insisted that they would join me within three months of my travel aside from the fact that she would accompany me on my first travel and return a week after.

I was not surprised at my wife’s philosophy of marriage and her belief in the pre-eminence of cohabitation of a married couple.

I initially deemed her stance too suffocating until I started looking around me, comparing notes, to see the effects of career or economic induced separation on marriages and family harmony.

The case of Mr. Oyiboka Akidi was very eye-opening.

Mr Akidi’s case is pathetic. He had relocated his family to Calgary in Canada in search of better life opportunities. He wanted his children to get better education and the wife to further her education and also work.

Akidi, an assistant general manager in a Nigerian bank, had saved and paid for the trip, initial accommodation and one year school fees for the kids. He also gave the wife some money to meet their needs pending when she secured a job.

The plan was that Akidi would travel to Canada once in a year during his annual vacation to visit his family.

Everything was fine until two years after when Akidi noticed that the wife was no longer looking forward to his calls or enthused by his announcement of the date of his visit to Canada.

He had asked his close friend to find out what was happening but the friend declined. The friend knew what was happening but would not want to be quoted. He would rather connect Akidi to a private detective who did a good job.

Mr. Akidi’s worst fear was confirmed when the paid agent sent him a dossier on how his wife rocked younger Nigerian men in Canada. He introduced the men to her kids as their distant uncles.

When confronted with the facts, Mrs Akidi filed for divorce. The children believed their mother and the rest is history.

In the calculations of a better life for his family, Mr. Akidi forgot to factor in the fact that Calgary is very cold and that excessive cold could trigger off certain needs like cuddling and sex. Hence, Mrs Akidi cannot be blamed alone. It was a joint decision that backfired.

So many men that left their families in Nigeria in search of Golden Fleece in the UK, USA and Canada have committed worse marital crimes. Theirs are even more heart-rendering.

The men, usually escorted to the airports’ departure halls by their loving wives and kids, would immediately re-marry upon arrival in their new countries in the name of route for citizenship. Many others have completely abandoned their wives and kids and had married more fascinating or updated women in their new places of residence. Some no longer pick calls from home.

Let nobody raise the issue of trust and infallibility of their spouses here considering that Adam and Eve were manufactured by God himself with his own hands, still they failed.

Which man would be loved by God more than David still he was overwhelmed by the allure of Bathsheba?

Which man would be wiser than Solomon yet he was mesmerized by Queen of Sheeba?

As couples plan economic improvement or migration for a better life, they should factor in the fact that staying apart for too long could be dangerous.

A man or woman who lives in Lagos while his/her family lives in Enugu or Kano and who rarely visits home faces similar risks as those abroad.

I must reckon with the fact that some few couples have exceptionally weathered the storm or successfully kept their secrets.

There is no doubt that staying apart creates a room for temptation or change of taste. While some people can hold on, many humans react positively to a better offer.

Only God knows how long and how far Adam was when the serpent arrived and had enough time to convince his wife to eat the fruit that changed not only their destinies by that of all human race.

For any good husband, there is a better man out there and for any fantastic wife, there is a better woman somewhere. All it takes to get displaced as a husband or a wife is time and chance.

Therefore, let no spouse be too confident.

Stay or move with your family.

If you must move or let your family relocate, please don’t stay away for too long.

By Anayo M. Nwosu

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Let me Show you Who to Fall in Love with!

Love they say is wicked! Many things have been said and written about it. Daily, men and women alike, talk about it. Your experience is quite different from your friends and your friends encounter with love is way different from mine and vice versa.

Please, people’s love experiences could be bitter, sweet, sour, heart ♥ wrenching and life changing too. So don’t use one person’s angel to make a cage of flint around your soul burying your emotions and thoughts unnecessarily.

Let me tell you it is better you encounter love in your own way so that you can define it before others. You can also learn to describe it from others perspective; although this takes a lot of maturity and mental strength.

Ever strike you why Romeo and Juliet, till date, had never separated when true love is the menu? Or why Saint Valentine’s Day is still in our discusses?

For once, these never sought this phenomenon and stocked up on because of any of the reasons bellow.

  1. They Didn’t Fall in Love for Material Gains. For instance, Romeo and Juliet were children of nobles, though their parents were antagonists to either family, these two found love 😍 in each others’ eyes. Possessing family goods could not deter them. When you found love built on a solid premise people will say it’s “made in heaven”. Marriage or any relationship contracted on the basis of material considerations never lasts. It is like a house built on bad foundation. It sooner than later fall mightily, shattered and scattered. It becomes a laughing stock. Look around you and you will find many relationships or marriages between the children of the rich that have crumbled. I was even ashamed when I read on line about the collapse of the beautiful wedlock of the son of a former military head of state of my country and the daughter of a wealthy businessman. They were not ashamed washing their dirty linen 👚 in market square. The marriage of the son of a former vice president of this same country recently went under. Don’t pretend about it; fall in love with your soul mate!
  2. Physical Beauty. Beauty does not make love last! No matter how he melts your heart or how she makes you wet the pants or how often you drool over the other. If the partner is not the right person, forget it! You are going to manage your everyday in the flint-cast situation in regrets. How many beauty queens have their marriages dissolved today? Many! They abound from Africa to Europe, Asia to Australia and the Pacific to the Americas. Some have even taken to suicide.
  3. Physical Attributes. Do not fall in love because of a man’s heights or complexion. Beauty fades with time and age. Height and complexion last only but for some time. Many had forsaken their marriages or relationships because what made them fall in love in the first place is no more.

No amount of threats given Could separate the love of the true heart. No, Remeo fought to keep his love and died because he knew nothing else matters to him than keeping what is real. He knew that being alive and loose what’s part of you is worst than death itself.

Who Should you Fall in love with?

I love this piece tweeted by Tiwa Savage, a Nigerian music diva, today. She says:

  • “Fall in love with someone who wants you, who waits for you. who understands you even in the madness (of daily life); someone who helps you, and guides you, someone who is your support, your hope. Fall in love with someone who talks with you (even) after a fight”.

You know why? See, love is not an arbitrary thing that some call a fling. It is not just a concept, idea, conjecture or that imaginary thing that you sing about or you act. It is an attribute, an attitude, a character from you and of you that you see in you and want in others. It never dies. It burns and radiates around you.

That’s why it’s always hot 🔥! Couples who talk together live life as lovers forever, even after a fight, they are difficult to understand.

Fall in love! Fall in love! Ciao!

@singlesat30

Understanding the Dimensions of Life – Part 1: Time

Life consists of events spread over space, deeds, attitude, opportunities, etc.

There are some things in life that are essential and thus affect life and it’s quality. They add quality to your being if you have taken the pain to understand and imbibe them. Such are the dimensions of life we can’t do without them in this our journey through earth. One of such is TIME.

LIFE is constantly in motion, howbeit, we rarely pay attention to it. In elementary physics, we are told that motion is a change in the position of an object over time. Time is a part of the fundamental structure of human existence and it’s independent of events. It’s a continuous occurrence that your life depends on for survival. Note that you were conceived, born, weaned, went to school, got a job, married or you are waiting for Mrs. Right; you will give birth and then, eventually, you shall die. All of these are a sequence of events following in time frame of past, present and future. Thus, time is measurable.

Calendar, a mathematical tool for organizing interval of time, is one instrument for time measurement. It is consulted for periods of time longer than days. Clock, on the other hand, is a physical mechanism that counts time passage. One consults it to know the periods of time less than a day. These are referred to as chronometry- a method of time measurement. Do you need to continuously consult the clock on daily basis or the calendar at regular intervals to make life counts? No. I don’t think so.

NOW WHAT IS TIME?

According to Wikipedia, time is the indefinite continued progress of existence and events that occur in apparently irreversible succession from the past through the present to the future.

From the above, one can deduce that time is a component of measurements used to sequence events. I mentioned earlier that your conception, birth, through death is a sequence of events. By time you know one spend nine months in the womb and so forth and so on, the better we begin to plan our lives in relationships or marriage ahead of time in a manner that presupposes deliberate and conscious preparation. What event do you want to take place in your life next? Time it. Measure it through planning. This is sequencing of events. Your birth wasn’t an accident. Your parents made it happened through time! So don’t expect your success or marriage to happen by accident. Plan. You don’t have all the time to linger on what to do.

It is also evidence from the given definition that time is used to compare the duration of events or intervals between them and to quantify rates of change of quantities in material reality or in the conscious experience. If you plan, put set target’s time duration or time of actualization into it. Monitor your progress also as the project moves on.

Time is more so of significant social importance. Time has economic value and thus we say “time is money”. Time also has personal value due to the awareness of the limited time in each day and in human life. Let me say this: time is a limited resources. You have only twenty four hours a day, seven days a week and twelve months a year. Don’t ever imagine that you have all the time in the world at your beck and call. What ever you want to do, do it now. If you must approach her now to give a piece of your mind on your feelings for her, do so now! Time waits for no one.

THE CONCEPT OF TIME AND YOU

The concept of time is self evident. An hour consists of a certain number of minutes; a day of hours; a minutes of seconds; a week of days and a year of months. But do you know you rarely think about the fundamental nature and structure of time? To you there is plenty of time! No it is never so. Time available to you is limited throughout your life time.

  1. Time is passing non-stop. We measure it through clock and calender. It’s dynamic; be wise to use it.
  2. Time is represented through change such as the circular motion of the moon round the earth.
  3. Time appears abstract but it’s measureable; it dynamic and absolutely of top importance to your existence.
  4. It is an intrinsic property independent of your age, social or religious biases. Therefore, use your time well.
  5. Time is a measuring system. When the cock crows, we remember the morning is at hand. The twilight of the day prepares you for the day’s journey to work. The sun reminds you of the time of the day (afternoon). The moon, the stars or the dusk reminds you it is evening or the night. Our observation of the elements – the sun, moon, rain- in their respective journey, tells us the age of the day. So puberty is a hint your time is getting ripe.
  6. Time tells the season we are. Check your self. What season of life are you now? Are you not due for marriage or relationship or family or a job, better still to take up responsibility? The season is ripe go and seize the mantle!
  7. Time is measured by motion and it also become evident by motion. It is defined by its measurement, so it is what the clock reads.
  8. It is a fundamental quantity. It has length, mass and changes; there, it’s a scalar quantity.

Permit me to say that your life consists of the past, the present and the future. The past is made up of the earlier time you have spent. You might have lived that time in immorality, wayward living or being a spend thrift. Welcome to the present! The present is special. It is the gift of living and feeling the reality of existence. Our interactions with our environment in the present creates our memories which then immediately becomes part of the past. We live in the changing present in which the future continuously unfolds. The present is a fleeting moment, don’t waste it; whatever that is happening now is confined to an infinitesimally narrow point on the time-line which is being encroached upon by the past and the future.

Remember this, the past is a written or recorded memory; the present is a memory in creation and the future is an unrecorded memory. The future appears to be a projection created by our past experiences stored in our memory. Past and future events are measured in duration of time. This suggests that it is a place we can really go, that’s a dimensional view.

Do not consign yourself to the past or the future time. They are beyond your reach. The present time is the clay in your hand. Mould it into your desired shape or design. Time is irreversible. Any time that is gone is a permanent damage done oneself.

Therefore, with time you need motion. Change. Move now! Let her know that you need her in your life! Grab that business or job opportunity now! Your momentum is directly related to your mass (capacity to take charge or occupy space) and velocity (the speed at which you execute plans with time).

Ciao!

@singlesat30ty

Regret is always too late

I traveled last time to see my mom in the village. It was quite a journey! Journeying to be with those you have known and lived with for years is sometimes a bore and scaring. You fear running into those who had had issues with you in the past; even the anxiety of running into an ex, whose ego one had bruised or a relative who may need assistance in whatever way and many more. Believe you me, I have never been the mingling type nor I am I the eavesdropping. Maybe this is why I had not practised journalism except for the few months I reported for a local journal after my graduation from the University. First, I didn’t planned to stay longer than two hours however, something eventful came up.

I got to the village at about 10 am. A good Samaritan told me Mummy Blackie, that’s what my mom is widely known as in that rustic community, was yet to return from her trip to a district market in a town about 12 kilometers away. So I decided to loaf around the village, visiting friends and relatives. In the course of this I ran into an ex by the name Sisi, whatever that means.

Sisi was emaciated and forlorn. Her bubbling and smiling mièn were gone. She wore a forsaken look. Here eyes were sunk in and her usual dark hair brown and unkept – signs that all is not well. At first, I thought she must have caught the rampaging AIDS virus. Gush! I was wrong here again! Sisi was gone like a ghost from my view in an instant as my car pulled up to say hi. So I decided to find out why she disappeared from view like that. Maurine confided in me that Sisi has been in hiding for the past two months she came to the village. “We rarely see her face outside. In fact I wondered if this is the Sisi we know. Myself and Osasu make efforts to sweet-talk her at times to get life into her back”.

In this small village, words travel. At times I wonder how people find out happenings in individual lives. About Sisi? Everyone is abreast of her misadventure in the trail of love.

In our days in the primary school, Sisi was grown and more matured than her age. She was out going and friendly. At 14 years in primary six, Sisi had two abortions. I always knew she has a weird way with the opposite sex when we dated in our third years in the secondary school. Minus all emotional wreck, Sisi is a good girl to be with. She has a good heart, very caring and loving. However, she was a carefree lover. She is easily carried away by emotion or sight.

Thus it happened that Sisi fell in love with the head boy of her high school in their final year at the college. Kingsley we are told was a good liar and cheater. But he was suave and intelligent. After two years of dating, Kingsley suddenly went AWOL.

It was in Warri they at again two years ago after some years of the relationship being in limbo.

Sisi quickly moved in with Kingsley. She soon found out that Kingsley was always in debts. To make matter worst, the house keeping was upon her alone. And soon became pregnant. His boyfriend, Kingsley appealed to her to keep the pregnancy to which she agreed.

I was equally told that, meanwhile, Sisi fiancé who lives in South Africa planned to visit Nigeria. In this intervening time, Sisi discovered that Kingsley has a wife who lives in Bomadi with four kids. Rumours have it that Kingsley has three other kids from three other women.

Heartbroken, penniless, despondent and dejected, Sisi, not knowing what to do ran down to the village to hide her shame and from her shame.

She has lost love in her rashness; lost livelihood; lost respect because she was in pursuit of two men at the same time and for the sake of her incontinence.

I did my best to console her and assure her that the future holds something good for her.

Hear her “I have learnt my lesson in life. I feel like just giving up. Where do I turn now and to whom do I learn? Please tell me!”

Any lessons learnt? Ciao.

@singlesat30ty

How to Make him Commit his Love to you: Try these 9 Magical Steps

Love they say is the dumbest and funniest thing ever. To me, real love, finding it, is spiritual. Divinely inspired and arranged. However, you have your role to play. No wonder this popular maxim holds sway in Nigeria “Heaven help those who help themselves”. Play your part well enough to keep your man, my dearest!

You’ve met your dream guy, and things are going pretty well. But how can you be sure that he’s as head over heels for you as you are for him?

If you’ve ever fallen hard for someone in the early stages of crushes and dating, you know the most frustrating — and the greatest — thing about it can be trying to gain their attention and earn their returned love . You want to prove yourself as someone worthy of their time and affection, but it’s never just as easy as casting a magic spell to make it all go well, is it?

Relationships take time, dedication, and a steady mix of patience to work out right. After all, you’re trying to build a life with someone, and that’s no easy task. However, that doesn’t mean that there isn’t a method to all of the madness or a way to get someone to notice the depth of your love and give you some of that adoration in return.

A good relationship is like a dance. It requires two people giving their all and learning the steps to work with each other so they don’t crush a lot of toes. And like a good dance, there are steps you can take in your relationship to help make it flow smoothly, and keep you from stepping all over your partner by accident.

Relationships need a lot of effort, but sometimes it’s not easy to figure out where you should be directing that effort. Want to be more successful in dating? Then you’ll want to follow these simple steps for how to make a man fall in love with you, because believe it or not, there is actually a formula. It might not be magic, but it’s as close to a magic as you can get — and it’s also far more reliable.

Just how does such a thing work? Well, you’re going to want to remember the acronym “MAGNETICS” and get ready to get loved up! Without further ado, here’s how to make a man fall in love with you in 9 easy steps.

1. M is for Masculinity

A man wants a woman who just “gets” him. He wants her radiance and femininity to draw him in the way his masculine energy attracts her. He wants a woman who appreciates his ability to protect, provide and solve problems. He wants her to admire him for his steadiness and sense of calm under pressure. He doesn’t want to feel emasculated because he’s way more logical and analytical and doesn’t (necessarily) cry at sappy movies.

In short, he wants a woman who sees him as the hero he’s always wanted to be — and when you really get that you just might be shocked at how heroic he truly is in his heart and soul. Ladies, that is the real greatness of a man. For the right reason or cause, he would literally die for you. Now if that’s not a hero, what is?

2. A is for Acceptance

Now when it comes to “getting” your man, there is one thing you must not do if you want a man to see a future with you. Do not treat him like some kind of project that needs to be fixed because it immediately brings up the walls. If you have the urge to try to change his clothes, his circle of friends, the way he talks, what he loves to do — don’t do it!

Just move on and find someone you can respect and appreciate just the way he is right now. If he wants your help, he’ll ask for it. The right guy for you deserves to feel like he’s your hero. If you can’t offer that, he’s not your guy.

3. G is for Grateful

A man has two primary gifts he can offer a woman: his ability to protect and provide. So if he is willing to risk his life to protect yours and invest his time, talent and treasure in order provide for you, all he really wants is a little gratitude in return.

He simply wants you to appreciate that he works hard to take care of you even if he can’t give you everything he’d like. That’s really not a lot to ask. So if you want a guy to see the very best in you and fall hopelessly in love , the one thing you can’t do is take him for granted or disrespect his efforts.

4. N is for Nurturing

If it’s up to a man to protect and provide for his woman and family, what is it that he wants and needs from her in return? Simply put, a woman’s beauty and grace attracts a man and is often demonstrated in her innate ability as a nurturer or caretaker .

Now before you attack that idea as sexist, we’re really just talking about two people who come together to love, care for and make each other’s life even better by forming a cooperative partnership here. The real beauty of a relationship is when two people come together with a desire to give rather than just take. That’s when the magic is unleashed.

5. E is for Easy-Going

Despite what you may think or your past experience — you may never know just how much a man really does want to please you if he is able. In fact, the problems show up when he no longer thinks he can please you. Men are very simple creatures. They demonstrate their value by solving problems and fixing things (and occasionally they may make the mistake of trying to fix you).

Plus, nothing makes a man feel worse than to feel stuck in a problem he just can’t solve so if you’re unhappy too often, at some level, he’s failed and he will try to distance himself from feeling like a failure. By contrast, nothing makes a man feel successful like you when you are happy — which is why a positive, happy and radiant woman is so appealing.

6. T is for Trustworthy

When it comes to true demonstrations of masculine energy and the code it lives by, the concept of honor is practically inseparable from the ideal. Whether it’s warriors on the battlefield or symbolic “warriors” on the playing field, having your partner’s back is the difference between winning and losing or even life and death. A man has got to trust that you’re on his team and have his back, otherwise, he will never commit.

7. I Is For Independence

If there is one area I see women mess up time and again, it’s in trying to define a relationship or tie a man down too soon . That’s because her need to feel “safe” is in direct contrast to his innate desire for freedom and not being tied down. If you think about it, every soldier anywhere who has ever been killed in action has died trying to defend their idea of freedom.

When you realize that simple fact, you’ll understand why he’ll feel reluctant to just give it away, but don’t worry. The good news is he will trade his freedom for something better, so just be better and don’t try to force him into a decision too soon.

8. C is for Captivate

When you really get what I’ve just shared and exude these nine traits, you will officially be in your man’s head — and in his heart as well. That’s because he will notice all the “logical” benefits of your wonderful traits right about the time his heart opens and “emotion” slowly enters the equation.

Oh, and there’s one other thing that gets a man to act in the captivation stage: his competitive nature won’t tolerate losing the greatest woman he’s ever met to another man.

9. S is for Soulmates

When you follow this as outlined, it all adds up to something magical. When you embody a love of his Masculinity with your Appreciation for who he is, add in some Gratitude, a Nurturing spirit, an Easy-going nature, an ability to be Trustworthy, and honor his Independence all while captivating him — it all adds up to one thing. The final S is for Soulmate because that’s what you’ll have found.

Ciao.

@singlesat30

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Have you Found Love? 9 Strong Questions to Answer about Her

As the saying goes “Life is too short”. So you have no time to waste on acrimony and or regrets in life.

It’s true life can feel short if you’re happy, healthy, pursuing your passions, and partnered with the right person . But if you happen to be in an unhappy relationship, or simply with the wrong person, life can feel quite long. With a true partner by your side, you can work through life’s inevitable obstacles and storms. With an unsupportive or incompatible partner, these obstacles can seem insurmountable.

Do you think you’ve found the right woman? Here are nine things to check to be sure you’re right.

1. Do you trust each other?

Trust is the MOST IMPORTANT thing to consider when deciding if you have found the right partner. If you don’t trust each other completely, you might as well walk away right now. Do not pass Go. Do not deceive yourself into marriage that you would regret later on in your life! Quit here!

It will never get easier than it is in the beginning of a relationship. You should both be honest with each other because you have mutual respect. If you find yourself worrying when she goes out with her friends or calling to ask where she is, there is no trust there.

2. Do you have compatible lifestyles?

Are you a vegan and your partner is a meat eater , or vice versa? Do you love to hike every Sunday and your partner would rather stay in to watch movies? While neither of these lifestyles is inherently better than the other, having vastly different ideas of how to live your lives will ultimately spell trouble.

This isn’t really a matter of learning how to split your Saturdays. This is a matter of core beliefs and values that are not aligned. You’ll be much better off choosing a partner who shares your lifestyle.

3. Do you learn from each other?

Life is a massive journey—and that journey is a lot more interesting and enjoyable if you share it with someone who can teach you new things. You don’t need to be with a professor for your partner to open your eyes to new ways of thinking or to teach you how to cook a killer African recipe like “egusi soup, ukwobi, banga soup”, etc. Couples who learn from one another have more to talk about and a more diverse life.

4. Do you have similar financial beliefs?

They say your economic and religious backgrounds are the two most important contributors to compatibility. If you are a saver and your wife or girlfriend is a spender (or vice versa), it’s not necessarily a deal breaker . In fact, it may be better to have two different views of money than to have two crazy spenders or two penny-pinchers; but you shouldn’t be on opposite sides of the spectrum.

Make sure you can talk openly about money in a respectful way and that you can work together to save for the important things in life.

5. Do you laugh together?

You don’t need to find a comedian, but a sense of humor can go a long way toward a happy relationship. If you’re with the right woman, she’ll be able to cheer you up when you’re having a crappy day, and she’ll be able to let the little things go .

Couples who have been married for decades frequently cite a sense of humor as the secret ingredient to a happy marriage.

6. Do you want the same things?

Have you discussed your long-term goals? When you are with the right woman, your goals will align. You will both lean into the other to create a shared vision for your future.

If you have some variations in your vision, that’s okay. But if one of you is unwilling to bend on your dreams to compromise for the other, then that’s a problem.

7. Is it easy?

So often, you hear songs or watch movies that glamorize the rocky beginning of a relationship. Maybe it’s filled with drama and passion. It can be tempting to view this crazy drama as a sign that you’re just so in love. But really, it’s a sign that you should probably walk away .

If the beginning of a relationship is difficult, the rest of it will only be worse. The right woman will make your life easier . You will enjoy your time together, you will talk openly, and you won’t ever feel that “love/hate” dynamic.

8. Do you get along with each other’s friends and families?

Your friends and family aren’t going anywhere. How is the dynamic between your girlfriend and your mom, or between her and your best friend? While it’s okay for them to not be best friends, no good can come from your mom hating your girlfriend (or vice versa). Your friends and family have stood by your side for a long time. If your girlfriend clashes with them, it’s going to be a very rocky relationship.

The same is true of your relationship with her friends. If you think her best friend is the worst, it’ll eventually cause a problem.

9. Do you love her exactly as she is?

Don’t case yourself in that erroneous mould that you can change your woman into your desired shape after marriage. It’s easier said than done! It never comes easy like that and that desired change may never happen.

People don’t change. Or rather, they are capable of change, but only when they decide to change on their own terms.

If you love your girlfriend a lot but wish she was smarter, kinder, less chatty, more tidy, etc., then that dissatisfaction will only grow. This doesn’t mean you have to love every single annoying habit, but it does mean you have to accept it and be able to live with it forever. Likewise, she should feel the same way about your good and bad habits. Ciao!

@singlesat30.

And Before you Celebrate…see this!

Valentine’s Day is special to many of us, though some of you do not celebrate it, I do passively. I am not adverse to holidays but I am sober and or to an extent, very skeptical of the ways and manners in which lewdness, immorality, Jezebeline carriage and mortal conscience numbing revelry are indulged without recourse to our perceive religious, health and safety postures. For this reason I sit down to watch from the sidelines and take stock for personal and others consumption. Few days ago the world was agog with the Valentine’s Day heat. Could you have ruled out the possibility of breaches to relationships ethos due to the citizens hassle to fit the frame. Here fore, I try to bring to your attention possible breaches to our morality and likely bridges that may have been broken down OR built during the celebration. See for yourself. VALENTINE’S DAY SCORE CARD 💳

  • (1) Engagements …12%.
  • (2) Heart breaks …5%.
  • (3) Wife caught cheating …
  • 69%.
  • (4) Husband caught cheating …79%.
  • (5) Condom sales …99%.
  • (6) Fast food sales …89%.
  • (7) Visit to Motherless Babys’ Homes, prisoners/ cells, beggars/destitutes …2%.
  • (8) Girls in hospital over Love……..60%
  • (9) Boys in hospital over Love…5%.
  • (10) Girls arrested for fighting over Boys…69%.
  • (11) Boys arrested for fighting over Girls…10%.
  • (12) Husbands beating wives in public… 1,200 and still counting.
  • (13) Pregnancy (expected globally)…39,670.
  • (14) Number of switched-off phones on Feb 14, 2018…9 million.
  • Expected rejected babies…10,001.
  • Aborted babies…12,810.

Myself and my team are still taking statistics. Please be calm. I will keep you all updated as Val’s effect is still on. I wish you all the best. Hey, don’t shout! Before you do just know that this is just an opinion, a conjecture. Reel and relax! Ciao.

@singlesat30ty

7 Ways Every Woman Lies

Nearly any adult will tell you that lying is wrong. But when it comes to avoiding trouble, saving face in front of the boss, or sparing someone’s feelings, many people find themselves doing it anyway. In fact, more than 80 percent of women admit to occasionally telling what they consider harmless half-truths. Here are some lies women can’t help but tell

1. I don’t care about your ex-girlfriend

Well! When a woman says this, you should know she’s lying. She will say this but will still go and check her out on Facebook or Instagram just to see if she’s hotter than her. She’s also constantly thinking about your feelings towards that ex and whether it’s the same or more than how you feel about her.

2. Everything is fine.

When you hear this from a woman, don’t assume it is true, no she’s not fine and everything is definitely not fine especially when you know it is not supposed to be

3. I won’t get mad.

When there is an issue and she presses you to tell her the truth and keeps telling you she won’t get mad so spit it out, don’t fall for it because she will definitely get mad, don’t say it no matter how sweet she is.

4. I never get jealous.

Getting jealous is natural and nobody can avoid it, even God, the creator of the universe said, “He’s a jealous God” how much more us humans. Outright when a woman says this, you should know she’s lying,

especially when they are like, “oh! I’m not the jealous type”. If you want to prove this, get close to another woman in her presence and watch her reaction. The fact that you can control your jealousy does not mean you’re not the jealous type.

5. I’ve never done this before.

So you get all cuddly and you want to try some new sex move and she’s like, “I’ve never done this before but let me give it a try” and she comes out a pro, you should know that’s a big lie. Women always want to hide their sexual abilities to portray that good girl character and so when you request for some sex act, she will lie just to keep up appearances.

6. I won’t tell anyone.

When you hear this, you should know it is a lie, because when she says anyone, it excludes her friends and family. Maybe that’s the reason why you visit her and her family will be looking at you in a weird way, they know all your secrets.

7. I will be done in 5 minutes.

When you hear this, kindly grab a seat because you will be waiting for an hour or two.

Ciao.

Copied.

@singleat30

How Can these Find Love?

In times of trouble relationships are stressed, strained and tensed. But in times of conflicts, where lives are lost, families are separated, traumatized and injured; relationships are broken, sometimes temporarily or permanently.

I think the most painful thing is when loved ones are killed without provocation. At a time you are helpless to defend them when you know you could defend or do something to help them.

Nigeria is not at war! But countless citizens are being mauled daily by a marauding set who go about the villages in the guise of cattle herders.

Fulani herdsmen!

Slained men, women and children killed by suspected Fulani herdsmen in Benue, Nigeria, on January 1, 2018.

I am not here to tell you what and why the killing persist. However, I am to tell you what we can do to extend love to the deceased and their families.

On January 1st 2018, 73 persons were killed like cows in Benue State. More persons have been killed across Nigeria since this last incident. No one has been arrested till date nor has anyone been prosecuted. Normally, such act on the part of the authorities would bring relief to victims and their families. A sense of justice is perceived to have been achieved. Nothing! Rièn! The world is wicked!

Some act of kindness!

The state governor of Benue has done a lot. He has indeed stood by the people, spoke the truth about the planned annihilation plot to wipe his people out of Nigeria by the Fulanis. He has indeed brought to the fore answers to questions about the identity issues minority tribes in northern Nigeria have been enduring for decades. He actually warmed his way to my heart and million others when he put the police chief and other notable Fulanis serving in the current administration in the country to where they belong. The governor has created seven camps for the internally displaced persons in their tens of thousands and additional two for refugees from the Republic of Cameron. These he funds single handed from the state purse.

Help from other states.

Political and opinion leaders from the three geo-political regions in Southern Nigeria paid a condolence visit to the state of Benue and assured the state governor of their solidarity with him. This show of love is most welcome. The opposition party in the country, the People’s Democratic Party (PDP) also had paid a visit to show their support; despite the fact that the APC is the party in charge of the state. Two governors have visited the state to show solidarity and love to the people of Benue state. One of them in fact donated the sum of 200 million naira towards alleviating the suffering of these people.

OK. What can you do for a distressed people?

  • Donate money, food, clothing and medicine. This is the easiest thing. Even if you can’t travel to Benue state or Nigeria whatever relief materials you sent would get there. Look at ways you can show LOVE to the Benue people.
  • If you can visit the victims and their families in their camp do. This can warm them and show them they are not alone anymore.
  • Write on their plight. Let the world know that in Nigeria, there exists a criminal gang which is been prodded and shielded by ethnic bigots to foster land grabbing. Is this not what you call ethnic cleansing?
  • Prayers. Remember these people daily when you pray.
  • Help to teach Nigerians how to live in peace and quiet through LOVE!

    Help to get justice for the dead and relief for their families.

And you want to tell me that this is not about singles or marriage or relationship or family. Which single would not want love, justice and security? Among the murdered were potential wives, fathers, suitors, in-laws, etc. Whole families were wiped out. Surviving kins need love still. This is the only way, they, the dead, can rest in peace.

More so, look for the best ways you can sow love to these grieving Nigerians. Because it concerns you. Ciao.

@singlesat30ty

Their New Wife, their Stiffled Life…

This one of “wives” (in red dress) on display beside a real man.

Compare this to a real chics in the photographs below.

I was shocked to read in the news recently about a sex doll that would cost a prospective “suitor” a whooping 800,000 naira to possess. Quite a huge sum in a country where getting a good meal per day isn’t assured or guaranteed. Do you know what flashed through my mind at first? “sex or life which do we really need from our partners? I think we need both but life first before sex. It struck me instantly that humans are on the verge of losing the ‘life’ in him by being driven by his inventions to perdition.

Many people frowned at this. My culture too frowns at such immaterial relationship. Same sex marriage is still being grappled with by many lands; yet we’re being huddled up to another messy crap.

Technology has come to be part of our everyday lives but we must be careful to use it right. The hue and cry that usually comes with novel ideas and invention settle down, gradually, to aquinttance and then acceptance.

On this one, sex doll (wife), I think many things are wrong with it.

First, it’s against God and my conscience. Sex is a tool designed by God to give mankind something to cheer him up; something to cherish and something to motivate man on total commitment to his kind. And ultimately, sex is designed to enable us procreate. A sex doll can gratify your base desires but never the latent and other stuff God puts in man. God is offended by it. Therefore I can’t stomach it. If my father had married a doll how would I have been given birth to, in the first place?

Secondly, it stunts emotional and psychological well-being of the individual. And finally that of the society is crippled and crushed. There is a connect between the man and the woman when love making is real. It builds up a strong bond; it excites the very centre of both worlds. Making love to an inanimate object deadens the emotions in you. Do you know that the discussion pre, on, and ante sexual intercourse is healthy for, not only the relationship, but for the partners total health. Say the usual foreplay of kisses, cuddles, rubbing, smooches, nipple grabbing and sucking which I derive substantial gratify fulfilment from, so long she complements and compliments me with her moans and soft giggles, should be forgotten? In my opinion, that would be a like riding a horse to Jupiter. And I was told the “wife” works on artificial intelligence. Which intelligence? So long it is artificial, it shall never be real. When I am on the job can it cum? Will it be able to curl it’s feet around or behind mine when estacy drives us wild? No. I don’t think so.

Thirdly, it’s wickedness in high point. Why are people selfish. Humans are created to generously affect their kind. Reprobate minds would easily invest their monies worth a life to others on this kind of stupidity. Yes, wickedness would attract one to commit incest; steal; use the bomb vest; and make love to a doll, a plastic or fibre.

Fourthly, it will kill human sympathy and feeling in us. Once the emotions of everyone in the society is weakened, feeling for humanity is gone. Inanimate objects such as a doll could make what makes us a human fizzle out.

Fifthly, it is a waste of money. If you’re familiar with Nigeria, 800,000 naira is enough for you to marry a beautiful damsel and still have change for honey moon (this depends on the region and social class you intend to marry though) and other small things. A wife who cares about you. She will cook meals for you, especially dinner. She will soothes your nerves when your emotions are hirewire. A woman who will take care of your home and your children.

Sex is too good and too enjoyable with a human to be left by the sidewalk for a sex doll. No. Never mind!

I am an African. I value life, family, relationship and marriage. It’s our hallmark and landmark identity- family life. It allien to good conscience to equate a doll to real wife. Brother, let the dolls marry the dolls and humans marry the girls! Ciao.

@singlesat30ty

The Game of Hide and Seek

Did you play the game ‘Hide and Seek’ as a child?

Of course!

We might have left the game behind with childhood, but the game sure hasn’t left us.

As adults, we still play hide and seek, unknowingly, everyday of our lives. The important question is are you a ‘hider’ or a ‘seeker’?

HIDERS

  • they run away from responsibilities and consequently opportunities.
  • they are afraid to step out of their comfort zones.
  • they are reluctant to try out new things.
  • they always feel inadequate and not deserving of anything good.
  • they shrink into their shells and give up whenever they fail.
  • they always hide behind excuses saying “I CAN’T”, “I DON’T”, “I WON’T”.
  • they quit easily.
  • they are full of negative energy.
  • they have a reactive approach to life.
  • they always put the blame on others.

SEEKERS

  • they are “dare-devils”.
  • they hunt for opportunities no matter the responsibilities attached.
  • they meet opportunities prepared.
  • they dare to step out of their comfort zones.
  • they learn from their mistakes and move on.
  • they get excited and eager to try new things.
  • they are action and risk takers.
  • they have a proactive approach to life.
  • they are self-motivated. They say “I CAN”, “I WILL”, “I DO”.
  • they exude positive energy.
  • they take responsibility for their actions.

In other words, seekers are goal getters. They create opportunities and where it exists hitherto, they seize opportunities.

It doesn’t matter if you were not good at playing hide and seek as a child, what matters is that you have the opportunity to play a better game. So next time you are caught up in a situation where life wants to play a game of ‘Hide and Seek’ on you, decide what you want to be- a ‘hider’ or a ‘seeker’!

Cheers

The Game of Hide and Seek was originally a post from Zizywrites https://wp.me/p83uqP-65 blog. I just reblogged with her express permission and added a little expression. Ciao.

@singlesat30ty